How I became a Serious Literary Author

Diary of an Author: 10-16 Feb 2025

10 February 2025:

Today I attended a poetry reading. I had vowed never to do this again after what happened last time, but I decided it was only fair to give the contemporary poetry scene another chance. I arrived at the bookshop early and secured a seat on the front row. Things started promisingly enough, with the young poet receiving a glowing introduction from the host, who described him as “one of the most important poetic voices of today,” and his new collection as, “incredible, insightful stuff”. Unfortunately, things went downhill from the moment the poet opened his book and mouth. It was clear to me from his very first word that he was a poor poet with a limited command of literary devices. Unable to control myself, I began to heckle, calling out, “You are a poor poet with a limited command of literary devices”. As he continued reading, I upped the ante of my literary heckles, calling out, “Your inadequate verse is an affront to the great poets who precede you, eg. Blake, Words…