Well I truly sympathise with all the setbacks and dismaying attitudes that you have to deal with from people who should know better. May I congratulate you on your steadfast refusal to give way to the importunate boring people who wanted to seize your autograph no doubt to
present it to Mr. Putin as proof of their loyalty to his amazingly inspired political acumen. Keep on with your wonderfully staunch campaign to protect your privacy. It is obviously working as it would seem that fewer and fewer people are aware of of your esteemed name and your wonderful talents.
I don’t do autographs. I do blood rites. One guy once asked me to sign his book—I screamed, “DO NOT SUMMON ME CASUALLY,” and vanished behind a fog machine I keep on standby.
I also gained ten pounds last month. Thought it was the pasta. Turns out it was six unbirthed novellas and a war memoir from a character I haven’t even written yet.
This diary? It’s holy scripture. A sacred text for those of us who choose chaos, satire, and serious literary violence.
I’ll see you at the Oxford reading. I’ll be the one in the back, holding a typewriter like a weapon and whispering, “This one’s for the teeth pile.”
I love this ~ April 11 ~ your words, "Today I noticed that the number of subscribers to my newsletter had decreased. It did not matter to me. Being a Serious Literary Author, I have far more important things to worry about..."
An installment of Daniel Piper never fails to make me chuckle mightily (ahem, in a very Serious Literary Way, of course). Agent Luke Warm needs a pay raise! Ballet wasn't on the position description when he applied, I'm sure.
Do you ever feel like you picked the wrong platform here on sub stack? From my perspective, the only thing it seems to do well is presentation. The search engine is pathetic. I can't even find myself using obvious search arguments.
I was so moved by the literary prowess of the Agent Luke Warm excerpt that I devolved into a fit of literary euphoria (this may have been misconstrued as laughter by the intellectually stagnant, but it was most certainly not that).
How does a serious literary author survive such a serious series of disproportionate bad luck, as witnessed during the 11th of April? It would seem that only an astute wordsmith of biblical proportions could come unscathed of the absurdly imaginitve fluctuations in the temporal dimension. I am deeply impressed by your ability to maintain your composure and, as always, demonstrate the utmost professionalism while communicating with your newsletter's readers (both old and new).
Well I truly sympathise with all the setbacks and dismaying attitudes that you have to deal with from people who should know better. May I congratulate you on your steadfast refusal to give way to the importunate boring people who wanted to seize your autograph no doubt to
present it to Mr. Putin as proof of their loyalty to his amazingly inspired political acumen. Keep on with your wonderfully staunch campaign to protect your privacy. It is obviously working as it would seem that fewer and fewer people are aware of of your esteemed name and your wonderful talents.
Cheers will try to make it
Omg. The comments on here that try to one up your talent make me want to Sylvia Plath.
I don’t do autographs. I do blood rites. One guy once asked me to sign his book—I screamed, “DO NOT SUMMON ME CASUALLY,” and vanished behind a fog machine I keep on standby.
I also gained ten pounds last month. Thought it was the pasta. Turns out it was six unbirthed novellas and a war memoir from a character I haven’t even written yet.
This diary? It’s holy scripture. A sacred text for those of us who choose chaos, satire, and serious literary violence.
I’ll see you at the Oxford reading. I’ll be the one in the back, holding a typewriter like a weapon and whispering, “This one’s for the teeth pile.”
“Audibly smiled” 🤣🤣🤣
I love this ~ April 11 ~ your words, "Today I noticed that the number of subscribers to my newsletter had decreased. It did not matter to me. Being a Serious Literary Author, I have far more important things to worry about..."
An installment of Daniel Piper never fails to make me chuckle mightily (ahem, in a very Serious Literary Way, of course). Agent Luke Warm needs a pay raise! Ballet wasn't on the position description when he applied, I'm sure.
I can’t wait til Luke w. Gets published!! Charmingly hilarious, as usual. Carry on but do do it balletically.
Tuesday or Thursday in Oxford ?
Thursday. My assistant made an error with the date and has been reprimanded. (I am my assistant.)
Do you ever feel like you picked the wrong platform here on sub stack? From my perspective, the only thing it seems to do well is presentation. The search engine is pathetic. I can't even find myself using obvious search arguments.
This one really gave me a laugh, kudos Serious Literary Author.
I was so moved by the literary prowess of the Agent Luke Warm excerpt that I devolved into a fit of literary euphoria (this may have been misconstrued as laughter by the intellectually stagnant, but it was most certainly not that).
I feel bad for the pilot and his unborn child but can’t help laughing. 😆
I am dismayed that a Serious Literary Author such as yourself would allow a typo (thew) to languish online for so long...
Change serious to pretentious.
Are you calling me a PLA?
How does a serious literary author survive such a serious series of disproportionate bad luck, as witnessed during the 11th of April? It would seem that only an astute wordsmith of biblical proportions could come unscathed of the absurdly imaginitve fluctuations in the temporal dimension. I am deeply impressed by your ability to maintain your composure and, as always, demonstrate the utmost professionalism while communicating with your newsletter's readers (both old and new).